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Casablanca
By Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt
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life is a wonderful thing.
i'm not sure if i'll be using this too much anymore.
i might from time to time,
but i think that at least for now i'm doing great.
i don't really have anything new or exciting in my life,
just the best things in the world
happening over and over again, day after day.
i love my brothers and the way the make me laugh.
i love my dad and the way he makes me feel okay about growing older.
i love my mom and the way she can always make me feel better.
i love my puppies and the way they love me, not matter what my day was like.
i love my band and the way they push me to grow musically.
i love my friends and the way they make it all even better than it already is.
everything is exactly how it should be,
and THAT is why i have nothing to write.
it's funny,
i've shared some of the darkest moments of my life on this xanga,
but when it all boils down,
i feel no obligation to share the best days of my life.
i suppose we have a bit of a onesided relationship.
i'll write again,
probably sooner than i expect.
life is full of twists.
here's looking at you, kid.
-ben
"i have a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
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your lips move like powerlines:your words,like sleet
.&.that is why i always watch your tongue dance.
the beautiful ballroom;ivory, white chandeliers light up
the tastebuds lining the floor;&; that bright crystal ball in the corner.
(but i see so much more)
as the dj spins records all night on your eyes.&.
the lyrics just roll off your tongue.
letters waltz off your teeth.&.begin to sing songs
one.by.one
in a cannon;i listen;but can’t understand
as they slowly reverberateintoonesound
speaking;sleeting.
(so i smile[1,4];watch your lips[2];my eyes slide towards your thighs[3])
i nod[5];say“of course”[7];as the cannon explodes…
.&.i sigh[8][repeat 4,5,&,7]
your lips move like powerlines:your words like sleet
as my skyline unwinds;full of power.&.motion
only held back by cold words
.&.ice.
please:don’t speak;just grab your coat.&.finish your wine,
my feet hurt from moving through so many songs
(i think i’ve had my share of politics;.&.hypocrites tonight).
i
might smile as your powerlines wrap ‘round my neck;
but if it starts to sleet
i
‘ll have to turn the lights on.
i
don’t think there is anything that
i
could have said to make better sense.
every line that you read was flawless,&,
i
must admit that
u
almost convinced me to repent.
-ben
"if you stay too long inside my memory,
i will trap you in a song, tied to a melody
and i will keep you there
so you can't bother me." |
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i really want to change my life in a few of subtle ways.
i think these small changes will make big differences.
I.
i'm going to start being more physically active.
sit ups and pushups every day
and running at least four or five times a week.
so far i've done a really good job of this.
II.
i'm going to eat healthier.
basically all i eat is cereal and pop-tarts.
i need to start eating more balanced meals.
III.
i'm going to reduce the amount of pop i drink.
i had gone four years without drinking pop
but i recently decided that my reward to myself
for not drinking alcohol
would be drinking pop.
unfortunately,
i started going overboard when i discovered jone's green apple soda.
ha.
IV.
i'm going to approach the guitar from a more educational standpoint.
i should be so much better than i am,
and i think the main reason i am not is because i rarely push myself
to learn to new songs, styles and techniques.
i would like to change this.
i think that if i do all of these things
i will be able to find peace easier.
last semester was really hard
and i found very little peace.
i hope to make this semester a completely different experience.
-ben
"the only difference that i see
is you are exactly the same as you used to be." |
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living is so damn cool.
i think i have come to terms with my music "career."
i should enjoy it for what it is,
nothing more, nothing less
and THAT is how i will find joy.
i told you i didn't think i could pull of this kind of distance.
i'm really scared that i'm going to hurt you.
i really hope i don't,
but i don't know how to make this magically work out.
just for the record,
i would like to make it work.
i had so much fun last night,
and that is exactly what i was afraid of.
i wish every day was like today.
it was so fun
and so beautiful.
-ben
"i knew your heart i couldn't win
because the season's change was a conduit,
and we'd left our love in our [autumn] skin." |
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2007 was a good year.
let's hope '08's even better!
when i see you,
it's like i'm staring down the sun.
i <3
tbe
please just open up.
if you don't,
this won't work out.
it feels so good to be in kansas city.
-ben
"so this is the new year
and i don't feel any different."
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